I think it’s a common goal for most humans to want to better themselves. Striving towards perfection, getting as close to it as possible, knowing you won’t ever reach it but coming up with new ideas on how to try when ultimately, all we need is to just be able to go to sleep at night feeling good about who we are and be able to enjoy the point we’re currently at in our lives.
Often times, it is assumed that the life of Ryan T. Gosling is an unhappy one. I've been told that it's an assumption that my life is lonely and destitute for any sort of close personal relationships. A lovely lady the other day questioned the meaning behind why I do what I do and why I go where I go. “Why do you go to such morbid places,” she asked. And then added with sarcasm, “Lets all go sit and watch people cry.” And I guess it does seem like my trips are to rather “morbid” places. Darfur, Chad, New Orleans, tsunami-effected areas can all be labeled as morbid but to me, I call it beautiful.
The thing is, in the time of crisis, there’s this emotional electricity in the air. Everyone feels the most emotion when their comfort is threatened. They love harder, hate deeper, and their consciences surpass all other gnawing factors and they fight for what their gut tells them is ultimately right. Often times, that brings people together. Strangers helping strangers. Strangers celebrating with strangers when things go right. Strangers holding strangers when things go wrong. Strangers praying together, dancing together, singing together, simply because they get to live another day. To me, that’s beautiful and that’s the rawest aspect of life one can ever experience. Though I may come off as some sort of sedated creature at times, I thrive on witnessing that emotional electricity, and it shocks me into my element. That’s what makes me who I am.
A little girl named Joyce reminded me of all of this when I met her a few months ago. While over in Uganda, scoping for locations to film my newest project, I met a toddler named Joyce. And she’s beautiful. Her skin is burned and scarred to the point where she cannot grow and the memories of what she had to fight for are embedded into her skin in the form of remnants of the carpet that she was wrapped in before being thrown into a fire. At 2 years old, Joyce somehow managed to crawl out of that fire she was thrown into not once, but twice, and hide in some bushes until she was rescued. When you see life through the eyes of people like Joyce, and you see the fight they give to keep experiencing their opportunity at living life, you can’t help but look at what YOU’RE fighting for.
As for my own life? I’m no A-lister. I don’t want the world to know what I do or why I do it. If people want to see the movies that I do then that’s excellent. But they don’t need to know what motivated me to make that movie that they just paid 8 dollars to go see. Frankly, I typically don’t even know that answer myself. I read dozens and dozens of scripts and if I find one I can relate to, I toss it out the window. I don’t want people to meet Ryan Gosling on the big screen, I want them to meet that character. You’ll never see me flaunting around at The Ivy or any Hollywood hotspot, and I don’t expect to be recognized walking down the street. I’m not even sure if acting is what I want to do with my whole life. But for now, here I am, living day to day, seeing how far I can ride this.
I'm still trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up. When I was younger, I took a trip with my family to Montreal so my sister could audition for a kid's variety show that she'd been watching for a few seasons. She was the one with the performing dream, I was the one who wanted to stay home and not have to miss Saved by the Bell while they went to that audition. But see, I was a little jerk when I was younger and incapable of being trusted to stay at home by myself so off I went, scowling in the backseat with my Sony walkman to Montreal. Turns out my sister was older than the age bracket they were looking for so being the ham that I was, I figured I should try out anyway and that was that, and before I knew it I was roaming Orlando, Florida, tormenting costumed characters and sleeping in a bunk bed above Justin Timberlake for two years. Since then, I've just kind of ridden this whole entertainment gig out, seeing how far it'll take me. Im not the kind of actor that had longstanding dreams of fame and fortune and acting isn't in my blood- it's just something I do, and so long as people continue to think I do it well enough to want to hire me, I'll probably just see where it takes me. Don't get me wrong- I know how fortunate I am. The resources you have access to when you're in this business are endless and for that, I'll always feel incredibly thankful because it's allowing me to try my hand at other interests of mine, whether it be running a restaurant with some friends or travelling overseas to try and make a film that'll bring a new light and more attention to a cause that the world should know about in order to pitch in and help. And at the end of the day, it's allowed my family and I to have everything that we need and that's something that you just don't take for granted.
Am I anxious to find out where I’ll end up? Not so much. I’m just enjoying life in my own way, and taking each minute with a grain of salt. If anything, I’ve at least got the best seat in the house to see what happens with this particular show.
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